


Lila

by ButYouCanCallMeCat



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Asexual Character, Episode Related, Episode: s01e18 Somebody's Watching, F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-01
Updated: 2012-05-01
Packaged: 2017-11-04 16:12:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButYouCanCallMeCat/pseuds/ButYouCanCallMeCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Somebody's Watching</p><p>Spencer considers what happened in L. A. in relation to his own sexuality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lila

He hadn’t even noticed putting his fingers to his lips. Spencer left them there as he stared blankly at the ceiling above his bed. He was thinking of water-soaked clothes, chlorine stinging his nose, a beautiful woman in a bathing suit.

He was thinking of Lila Archer.

She was an excellent kisser. As inexperienced as he was, that much was evident.

The rest of the team – Morgan particularly – had been rather pleased with the turn of events. He knew Morgan had been speculating about his sexuality, and was happy to have what he considered an answer. To be honest, Spencer was a little hurt that Morgan even cared. He would never mention that, since he had on more than one occasion heard Morgan be at least a little homophobic, but it was still there. It’s worth noting he wasn’t too terribly bothered by the guess being wrong, since Spencer didn’t himself have a word for what he was.

Ladies were nice to look at. With curves, smiles, and okay Spencer kind of had a thing for long hair. They were pleasing to the eye. He could recognise masculine beauty – and his own lack of it – but he had never been particularly drawn to men. And not once had Spencer had anything other than a purely academic interest in _anyone_ ’s crotch. Sure, he had, on occasion, speculated on what sex was like. But it was all very philosophical, abstract, something never to be acted on. Spencer had even been presented with opportunity – contrary to anything Morgan might say, awkward nerd occasionally worked – but it was well outside his comfort zone.

That wasn’t to say he regretted all that happened with Lila. Spencer wasn’t big on casual touch – there was a reason he waved instead of shaking hands. He did, however, enjoy a sort of sensual contact with those he liked, and Lila happened to reach that position rather quickly.

The way things worked out was probably for the best. Lila went after him because she was scared and in need of comfort. Even if there was enough in common for a lasting relationship, their respective career trajectories would have ended it rather quickly.

Besides, Lila was _normal_. She would want and expect sex at some point in the relationship, and Spencer wouldn’t provide.

All that without mentioning the ethical issues involved.

 

(Maybe someday he would recognise that his own fatalism wasn’t helping, that some relationships didn’t end in sex. For now, he would continue convincing himself – for the third time in his life – that he really shouldn’t call.)


End file.
